I’m in the midst of a crumbling friendship, one which used to be so amazingly strong and airtight, it’s kind of strange to see it disintegrating and falling between my fingers. Not that I’m stopping it from happening. In fact, i’m jumping up and down on those bonds, and basically clapping my hands together in the hoeps of getting rid of all ties as soon as possible. But it’s not as easy as that.
It’s always difficult to break a long-standing friendship, but it is a necessity of life. Like boyfriends, teddy bears and childhood infatuations,we also tend tog row out of our friendships. Different interests, outlooks, life status, you never know what defines that single breakingmoment. BUt the easiest way to fall apart is distance.
Moving overseas works wonders. But keeping a mutual distance also does the trick. I’ve lost many friends over the years, just lessening the amount of phone calls, cancelling dates until the only amount of communication becomes a half-hearted birthday greeting once a year. It works pretty well, you rarely see each other and as the days bleed into each other, you don’t even realise how much time has passed.
Of cours,e with social networking this becomes even easier, as suddenly lapsed friendships tend to work. You don’t need to see each other, share deepest darkest secrets and declare bosom buddy love for all eternity as long as you can poke and tag each other every other day. Or throw a chicken at one another.
But how do you tear the bonds of eternal friendship when you can’t distance yourself? Some people don’t understand the friendship has fallen apart and they keep clinging onto it with their tiny little toes. How do you break off from someone whos always in need of your attention and requires activites, phone calls, laughs and time?
It’s difficult, it’s painful, but it has to be done. Some relationships are poisonous, and it takes a lot of effort to break through the misty haze and realsie just how poisonous they are. Some people never make it through, drowning in their own naivety, lost to forever wander in other’s shadows, mere puppets of their former selves. But once you break through, it’s a matter of that tiny device which gets us through all walks of life: baby steps. Baby steps. Stop picking up the phone every time, stop saying yes. make excuses. Don’t call when you’re lonely and want someone to come around, they weren’t around before, they won’t stay around now. Don’t give money, don’t give time, but give space. Soon enough, you’ll both move on and twirl in different circles, occasionally spinning past each other for a laugh voer the good times, until the moment is gone and you can twirl on again, happy, beaming and satisfied you saved yourself from imminent, crushing death.
After all, it’s high time you thought of yourself for once.
