And here we are! Good evening and welcome….and it’s Graham Norton commenting… Gah, already this show sucks. I miss Terry Wogan!
Ok, he’s not too bad. 
We’re starting with an act from Cirque Du Soleil, who are apparently launching their very first season in Russia – any opportunity to plug your show! But it is a very good show.
And now last year’s Dima decides to use a running treadmill thing before starting the winning song from last year….which I wasn’t all that impressed with the first time around – eastern bloc voting for sure!
My money is on Azerbajain – Putin was photographed with this entry and this entry only – a very subtle hint for which country to vote for!
Right – new voting system this year – public vote is 50/50 with a jury of profesional musicians who have already voted. Hmm…We’re in Russia with half the vote already counted…oh yeah, this is rigged. 
And we’re jumping straight in -
Lithuania
Sasha Son, Love
guy with a piano , bit ballad-y but actualu music talent. i want his trilby.
Look, it’s a nice song, but nothing special. It sounds like anything you might hear on the radio – ooh, he has a flame in his hand!
Israel
Noa & Mira Awad, There Must be another way
Nice, political song about peace and hope, sung in arabic, hebrew and english. A jew and an arab singing together – not likely to win, but again, nice song about hope. (Although it would be nice if Israel would actually consider it). and they’re on the drums again.
France
Patricia Kaas, El S’Il laffail la fait or something like that
how surprising, the french singing in french. and it’s ballady.
Kat’s response – it’s french. not that there’s anything wrong with that, but…well, can we stereotype much? *I’m agreeing with Kat, by the way.
meh.
Sweden
La voix – Malena Ernman
it’s discopera. and the dress cost EUR 36,000. In a recession? Nice, though. typical blonde girl – verses are slow pop, chorus is operatic. it’s not bad, i quite like it – might make a good music vid. and man, she’s really, really excited about being there – or maybe just happy she made the notes? love the glittery masks.
Croatia
Igor and Andrea, Lepja Tena
oh god the song starts and i’m back in my childhood – mama, what did you do to me? what are the back-up dancers doing? and he has knee-high boots? WTF?
It’s a little too Iglesias-y for me…and now there’s a blonde singer, wailing nicely.
Croatia always has…interesting entries * last year’s was better.
Portugal
Flor-de-lis, todas as ruas do amor
MY FAVOURITE! VOTE FOR PORTUGAL!
it’s oh so bright and happy with flowers, and bright colours and it’s…just happy, folksy, simple and simply beautiful. I think, best way to explain it is…very now. eh i can’t explain it. just vote for it! aww i think she cried again.
Iceland
Yohanna, Is it true?
Another favourite. she’s 18, and looks icelandic. like the top half of the dress, kat likes the satin.
it’s a gorgeous song – you can imagine it on the radio, on a soundtrack, having a cry to it, it’s just beautiful, melodic, very non-eurovision like.
Unfortunately, Iceland can’t win – they can’t afford it.
Graham pointed out no one has ever won wering only blue.
Greece
Sakis Rouvas, this is our night
Gah. I know too many greek people. one of the favourites to win. Greec econtinuing their trend of eurodance. And he’s thrusting. and body popping. upturned collar. this is a favourite to win? It’s…meh. not special. the treadmill is going again.he ripped his top. Um. And there’s a greek flag on stage now. Meh. Graham thinks it’ll do well, Kat mutters, not if there;s any justice in the world.
Armenia
Inga & Janush, Jan Jan
Ooh, I quite like this one, if it weird. Has a brilliant track to it, with a very eastern flavour to it, before adding a basic beat. and they actually have traditional outfits, keeping a bit ot of euro *er, eastern* flavour. I’m not sure why, but I really like this *Kat says that’s because it’s actually a good song*.
Russia
Anastacia Prikhodko, Mamo
ah, the host country. Kat – she looks like a demon. Black eyes, you know!*
she’s aging on the screens…..weird effect.
Kat – what is she singing? Looks like she’s singing for her mummy. and now she’s having a tanty!!!
I’m…yeah. no way they’ll win.it sucked.
Azerbaijan
Aysel & Arash ,Always
if this is rigged, they’ll win.
eastern influence again. very euro-poppy.
not too bad, catchy. i can ehar it playing in the clubs – and on Oxygen. ooh, we have a ukelele!
she’s trying to dance, and well, beyond swinging hips, she ain’t that good. like her dress.
ooh..sparklies!
Apparently biggest cheer so far. see? Putin’s influence
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Regina, Bistra Voda
ah, the weird guy, with the drumming singers! And the awesome group stance towards the end. he’s the guy i wouldn’t kick out of bed, but he has to change his hair first. Cos, ick.
it’s got a bit of balkan folk flavour, which I really like, but overall the song is a little strange. i still like it. And here comes the group stand, in the face of danger! Or wind fans….
Moldova
Nelly Ciobanu, Hora di Moldova
very interesting outfit. it looks like something a girl hidden in the alps would wear.It’s the strange dancing and yelling and…
I like it. So does Kat. Although “looks like the dancers are having spasms”.
it of Irish dancing, Morris dancing, hill dancing….and back to the fun chorus with scremaing and yelping. I like it. lot. Eeep.
Still think her outfit looks wacked out.
You know…Graham isn’t half bad. Terry Wogan, your rep is in trouble.
Malta
Chiara, What if we
To me, this song is very 90’s movie soundtrack ballad. it’s nice, I do like it…but not to win. Although it would be brilliant for music vids. I already have ideas in my head. Like the glittery blue lights. so purdy.
Estonia
Urban Sympony, Radajan
what is she wearing?
there’s a mini-orchestra on stage, it’s nice and melodic but I just….i can’t get my head around their outfits. they’re weird.
the song is alright. Estonia always has such strange songs!
Denmark
Brinck, Believe Again
The Ronan Keating. sounds and looks like him. he wrote it too. has potential?
I’ve never been the biggest Ronan fan, so not sure. Very pop-tastic.
Mmm. I like the guitarist.
Song is very Ronan-esque, so yeah, has strong potential to win if it captures the teenie vote. I like it, but it’s radio stuff.
Can I have the guitarist? The long-haired one? Please?
Germany
Alex Swings Oscar Swing, Miss Kiss Kiss Bang
Dita von Teese is appearing. Well, it worked for Russia.
he really overplucks his eyebrows.
But I like the song.
Hmm, barely seen Dita. I’m sure once she starts stripping, they’ll show her more.
and now there’s tapdancing.
and DITA IS IN A ITY-BITTY CORSET, AND LOOKING HOT. SHE HAS A WHIP, PEOPLE.
I really liked the song, but the performance was not that great and badly taken care of.
Turkey
Hadise, Dum Tek Tek
well, it’s turkish so immediate eastern feel and music, and the belly-dancing. well, kind of belly dancing. as kat says, the ones with the back-up dancers doing the beter singing.
so eurovision. well, recent eurovision-y.
and now we have the acrobat leaping onto stage wearing only silky harem pants.
he’s too skinny.
Albania
Kejsi Tola, Carry me in your dreams
why are there mimes on stage?
and…a man…in a full on green condom body suit? WTF?
and she’s in a tutu.
I like her hair.
another typical europop track. it’s alright, she has a good voice at least. and the eastern bit, with the teensy belly dance bit…and the wind machine on gale force.
That was weird.
Norway
Alexander Rybak, Fairytale
The favourite to win. The one to beat. We have a fiddler on the stage!!
He’s cute.
i don’t know how to describe the dancers. and now we have girls in pretty dresses.
It’s a different song…not poppy, not really folky *Alexander composed it himself*
I like it…but…i had high hopes and I just can’t see why it’s favourite to win. Until he starts fiddling, that’s pretty good actually! i don’t want it to win. If he fiddled the entire way through…
i like the song, but not as much as i love others.
Ukraine
Svetlana Loboda, Be My Valentine
the one with the hamster wheels!
Th outfit, the stage…I’m seeing Lady Gaga in my head. And the dancers are gladiators!
all I have to say is the Ukraine must have an amazing clubbing scene, considering what they bring to Eurovision each year.
gladiators dancing, thrusting and headbanging. Hee. and she’s probably dizzy from all the twirling.
Did she just say he has a sexy bum? Ooh and drumming! And she broke the stick!
In kat’s words, I’m voting for her…she’s fucking nuts!
Romania
Elena, The Balkan Girls
this one starts off really well, lots of drums…and then flatlines. i like the outfits. I had really high hopes initially but i’m not a big fan of it, it’s too iffy.
hmm graham seems to say the back up singer is the main singer. I don’t know.
UK
Jade Ewen, It’s my time
Ok, can we get over the fact Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote this? His stuff isn’t that great, you know.
she has a sparkly mic.
and violinsts.
At least she can sing. and sing well.
Oh look, the man himself is on stage performing – now I see! He’s using this as his opportunity to perform at eurovision!
Ooh near miss – Jade was nearly taken out by a violin…but recovered.
It’s alright – it’s very…Idol winner-y to me, which are the type of songs I’ve never liked.
But she can belt it out.
Finland
Waldo’s People, Lose Control
Oh, I like this song! I can so see this in the clubs. It’s the rapper, with the girls in gold..and FIRE! Fire twirlers! Anyone with fire twirlers gets my vote. Such a far cry from Lordi.
as Kat says, bit fucking odd, but I quite like this one.
mmm…fire twirlers are hot.
Gah. I really like this.
Spain
Soraya Arnelas, El Noche es para mi
The spaniards have decided to go eastern? Or south american?
what is she wearing? Short and sparkly!
it’s eurodancy.
she’s disappeared. how will she re-appear? somewhere else, apparently. i was expecting more from that. you disappointed me, espana!
It’s a nice song..not good enough to vote for.
And that’s it – we have all 25 songs…and now it’s time to choose!!
It will take some time for the results to come through. Hmm..who will win? Where will I attempt to go see the final next?
ppst…hopefully Portugal!!!!!
Ack…they’re opening the voting…via space station.
I don’t think Russia has moved on from the cold war.
Europe, start voting! *grabs phone*
Good luck to all the entrants!
